We all WANT good friends, but do we ever stop and sink into how we can BE a good friend.
Fulfilling. Supportive. Magic. Fun.
Draining. Tricky. Messy. Awkward.
It’s a tough gig, hey.
For adults and children alike.
“Just be a good person and you’ll find good friends!”
A lot of the time, it’s really not that simple.
One line that will always stick with me was from an 11yo girl who shared her biggest takeaway from the workshop with me. She said, “I learnt today that I do deserve to have good friends – but my friends also deserve for me to be better to them. Sometimes I’m not. I never thought about how some of the things I do can be hurtful. But I do know now”.
This came off the back of a sharing Yaya Sisterhood circle where we passed the bowl around to share moments in our lives where we have been a good friend and moments where we’ve felt hurt by friends.
At the Healthy Friendships workshops we spend time exploring some well known areas like ‘kindness, sharing and play’ while also dipping our toes into more lesser known concepts like ‘passive aggression, consideration and authentic communication’.
Unpacking and deciphering terms like ‘passive aggressive’ – for some girls, this term was a light bulb moment. They didn’t realise that the actions associated with this term had a name. And now that they could identify it, they were able to take a step back & notice when in their life they might have behaved in this way or experienced this happening to them.
When we get the chance to be in a safe space that allows us to understand situations a little more clearly, it invites us to openly communicate and can take away the murky feelings that we might associate around certain moments in our lives.
To see and hear the girls exploring passive aggression [and having a laugh as we role played some passive moments] was magic to witness – the shift was noticeable as some of these girls began to take ownership of what they felt they deserved for themselves – but also what others deserved from them.
The biggest takeaway from this topic is understanding the IMPACT our words, attitude, emotions and so forth can have on other people and how paramount that understanding that is to successful relationships.
Some girls walked away pledging that they’d do better & BE better. Others walked away confidently declaring that they deserved MORE. And I feel all of them walked away knowing that growing up and navigating friendships is icky and awkward and messy at times – but they weren’t alone.
The ‘Healthy Friendships’ topic has always been the most popular point that gets discussed and explored at the Yaya Sisterhood Empowerment Workshops, which is why earlier this year I announced for there to be an entire workshop focused on a sharing circle and conversation around this this theme; and why we are all WORTHY of experiencing the fulfilling, the supportive, the magic and the FUN in relationships.
Imprinting AWARENESS and empathy with the next generation of young women; just by sitting in circle, sharing some feelings & belly laughs while delving into topics that we ordinarily wouldn’t get the space to explore.
Holding space for the icky, the draining, the awkward and the messy – while encouraging and supporting the magic & FUN – one workshop at a time.
Love Kim Darby.
Next workshop: July 25th (SOLD OUT) @ Dragonfly Zen, Cairns CBD.
Healthy Friendships / Goddess Eye Craft [EVENT DETAILS HERE]
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